But Caleb got the floors done in the baby's room, I put together the crib and the furniture, and then the laundry began. So many tiny little outfits. It kind of freaked me out to be honest. I didn't know this person yet but I was doing his laundry. And I knew he was going to mean more than anything to me, but I hadn't met him face to face yet and here I was, washing his darks, whites, and reds. Doing Griffin's laundry was like a strange, out-of-body experience while I contemplated all of this. You just never know when these weird realizations will hit you...or what will trigger them.
Now that all of that is done, and Griffin's nursery is ready, and I have just a few more things to do before he comes to be completely ready...I feel like I am on the precipice of something huge. Obviously a major life transition is about to hit, but I feel it, as if I am standing atop a cliff and the wind is whipping in my face and I can hear the waves below. I can feel my life shifting. And I can't describe it. I can just feel....change. I'm not nervous, I'm not anxious, I'm not going crazy waiting for this to happen, I'm just ready. Ready for this next stage of my life and fine with whenever it wants to take me.
I want to say how thankful I am for Caleb. Just how excited I am for him to be a dad, and how lucky I feel that he is going to be my kid's dad. I love him, love him, love him. And I am grateful beyond words that Griffin is part Caleb. I can't wait to see what that means.
5 weeks to go. We are patiently waiting for you and dreaming about you always, Griffin. :)
