Giggles

Oh my goodness.  You laughed for the first time today.  I kissed your face and you giggled.  Wondering if I could get you to do it again, I kissed your face over and over.  With each kiss came a giggle.  So wonderful!!!

Then, 20 seconds later, you dissolved into tired fussiness.  Those giggles sure must take up a lot of energy :).

"And when the baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces and they all went skipping about, and that was the beginning of fairies."

Reflection on the Last Few Weeks

This should have been posted back in October 2011.  It saved as a draft and I want to post it so it's there for us to read later:

Griffin, how did I ever do life before you?

Wow, were those first two weeks harder than I ever thought they would be.  Round-the-clock feedings, major sleep deprivation, and healing from the c-section made those two weeks the most difficult, insane thing I'd ever done.  But oh-my-gosh are you worth it.  Worth more than everything.

I have spent the last few weeks spending every moment with you.  I hold you all the time.  I can't think of doing anything but holding you and loving you.  

  

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The Arrival of Griffin Daniel Johnson

He is here.  GRIFFIN DANIEL JOHNSON IS HERE.  He arrived in this world at 1:12pm on Tuesday, September 27th.  He was 21 inches and weighed 8lbs, 14oz.  And he is perfect.

How it all began...
Monday, September 26th, 2011 was my 27th birthday.  Caleb and I were both home and had planned on spending the day together leisurely and going to my parents house for a celebratory dinner that evening.  At about 10:30 that morning, I thought my water had broken.  This was nothing like the movies.  In fact, I wasn't even sure it had happened.  I called my nurse, who informed me that I needed to go to the hospital and be checked.  We went in, spent about an hour in triage, where they informed me that I was not in labor and could go home.

I was irritated.  My morning had turned out to be a disappointing waste of time, but also that I thought I knew my body well enough and I was sure that this was happening.  When we got home, I took a nap.  After waking up, I felt really funny.  Were those contractions?  Nooo...they said I wasn't in labor.  Must be like a stomach ache.  Or maybe that's what Braxton Hicks feel like.  I got up and got ready for dinner, and these pains got worse.  I told Caleb I was pretty sure my water was breaking more, and that I was having mild contractions.  We decided to go to my parents for dinner since it was on the way to the hospital anyways, and if things got intense, we would know that we should go in.  I wasn't about to go in and be told to go home again.

Well, I got through birthday dinner, cake, and presents, all the while having active labor contractions.  We decided it was time to go in.

We spent an hour waiting in triage before anyone saw us...apparently is was a "busy night".  Finally we saw a doctor.  Sure enough, my water had broken and I was 4 cm dilated.  They admitted us, which we were thrilled about!

After getting settled in my labor and delivery room around 9pm, we visited with both of our parents and told them to go home for the night because this probably wouldn't be happening until early morning.  I remember at one point telling Caleb, "I feel really dizzy." to which he quickly responded, "Yeah, me too.".  Luckily he was trying to be hilarious or I would've punched him in the face.  Caleb and I watched "Justified" for an hour while I walked around the room and bounced on the exercise ball to help with contractions.  Oddly though, my contractions became milder and farther apart.  That didn't make sense, but the nurse said to just wait and take the time to relax, I would need my energy for later.  So, Caleb and I decided to rest and try and get some sleep since this was turning out to be a long labor.  I couldn't really sleep so I watched Golden Girls and Cheers :).  The resident came in and asked "Are you guys really watching Golden Girls?" to which I laughed and responded, "Um, yeah!!".

In the early morning, the doctor came in and said we needed to move the labor along.  Since my water was broken, we only had a 24 hour window to have the baby or we risk getting an infection.  They also couldn't pinpoint when my water had broken...was it the first time when I came in and they tested incorrectly or did it happen that afternoon?  They had to operate off of the first time to be safe, so I was running out of time to have Griffin.  They put me on Pitocin, which helps move labor along.  It worked for about two hours.  I had much stronger contractions and they were much closer together.  I finally asked for an epidural.  Ladies, this epidural is not as bad as I thought it was going to be.  Not bad at all.  And the pain relief was amazing.  Weird, but amazing.  It's like when your legs fall asleep, but without the painful pins and needles feeling that happens when you start to move it.  My legs actually fell off the side of the bed sometimes and I couldn't get it back on.  Very strange.  But blissfully pain-free.

By now it was about 10am and the Pitocin was no longer working.  I had been having contractions for 18 hours and was now only 5cm dilated (for those who don't know, you have to get all the way to 10cm dilated.  I had only gained 1cm since being admitted the day before).  We increased the Pitocin and waited, but Griffin wasn't moving.  The doctor came in and checked my cervix.  He concluded that Griffin just wasn't fitting through my pelvic bone and couldn't move into position enough for everything to keep dilating.  So we needed to do a C-section.

I had wanted to avoid Pitocin and a C-section for so many reasons.  I was going to be tough, I was going to walk around during labor, I was going to bounce on the friggin ball, and I was going to have this baby the "real way".  Things soooo did not go to plan, and it was ridiculous of me to assume that it would.  But I had really wanted to avoid a C-section because I have a blood disorder that predisposes me to clots.  And any major surgery is followed by a risk of clots.  But we had no choice, Griffin needed to come out in the next two hours.

Things started moving very fast.  After spending so long just waiting and resting and wondering, it was strange for everyone to be in a frenzy around me, getting everything ready.  I wasn't going to be knocked out for the procedure; they were going to increase my epidural so I could be conscious.  I was so grateful for that.  I wanted to see my baby when he came out and I wanted to remember it.  I didn't want to be foggy.

Caleb got all suited up in hospital scrubs so he could sit by me in the operating room.  God I was nervous.  This was happening so fast....was I ready??  Was I ready to meet my son?  Was I ready to be a mother in the next thirty minutes??  Oh my gosh, I am going to meet Griffin in the next thirty minutes!!!

I was wheeled into the operating room and met all of the people who would be helping me.  Then they quickly put up the sheet so I couldn't watch the surgery, and Caleb came in.  Then they began.  Without scaring anyone, I want to say that I found the C-section to be quite traumatizing.  I could feel everything they were doing, it just didn't feel sharp.  It never hurt.  But I could feel every slice, every pull, every stitch.  Caleb kept smiling at me and looking excited, which I wanted to respond to, but I couldn't believe what I was feeling.  It felt like it took about five minutes, and I heard the doctor say that I was going to feel a lot of pressure because he was going to pull Griffin out.  Three pulls/pushes, and I heard Griffin cry.  Caleb couldn't wait, he stood up and looked over the curtain.  The happiness/joy/excitement on his face was one of the best things I have seen.  Tears were pouring down his face.  The nurses took Griffin to be cleaned and weighed.  This was the hardest part for me.  They were still stitching me up and putting me back together, which felt awful and was incredibly distracting; and I could also hear Griffin crying in the next room.  I wanted to be near him, I wanted to go him.  I started shaking pretty hard at this point.  The nurse came and got Caleb so he could pick up Griffin.  He brought him back to me and held him near my face.  Griffin wasn't even crying.  Just laying there sleeping.  And he was perfectly pink.  I had seen so many pictures of new babies looking weird and purple....Griffin was already perfect-looking.  I kept trying to touch him, but my hand was shaking so violently from the drugs and the hormones that were coursing through my body, I was scared I was going to hit him.  So Caleb brought Griffin out to show our family in the waiting area until the doctors were finished with me.

They wheeled me into the recovery room.  This was when I could finally hold Griffin.  They laid him skin-to-skin on my chest; and THAT is the most wonderful feeling in the world.  THAT cannot be beat.  He was so sweet, so quiet.  So beautiful.  The nurse had a lot to do with me still, so Caleb took Griffin back and held him skin-to-skin on his chest on the couch.  The nurse thought that was so touching that Caleb wanted to do that.  They removed my epidural and started me on IV painkillers.  The reason I mention this is that the story gets a little foggy for me here because those painkillers did that sort of thing...made you foggy.  And they made my face itch.  Both of our families came in and took turns holding Griffin and taking pictures.  Grandparents all around were very happy :).  After that, they moved us up to our room we would use for the rest of the stay.  It was soooo nice.  And a bed big enough for both Caleb and I to sleep in so he didn't have to sleep in a recliner!

So we stayed in the hospital for four days.  Caleb never left the room.  It took two days for me to be able to get up by myself and walk a little, so Caleb had to do almost everything.  He was a champ.  He changed all of Griffin's diapers, swaddled him, and got me everything I needed.  We spent all day, all night, getting to know our little Griffin.  I was healing fast, and able to walk around quite well by Friday, so they discharged us.  Earlier in the week, the idea of going home and taking care of him by ourselves was terrifying...by Friday, we were ready to go and felt quite capable of handling him on our own.

    

Looking back, I already miss that time.  It was wonderful and challenging in so many ways.  But it was a time of anticipation and excitement; an intimate time for Caleb, Griffin, and I to get to know each other away from everything else.  To develop and understand our new family.  It was precious and I never want to forget it.

My Ribs Are Not An Ottoman

Griffin, Life Lesson #1: Your momma's ribs are not an ottoman and her organs are not a drum set.

While I understand that the men on both sides of the family are inordinately tall, I need your wonderfully-growing big boy legs to leave my ribs alone. Pretty please? No, didn't think so. Ok, take up all of the space you need, I'll just keep tickling your feet that stick out of my side and you'll squirm around in all of your adorable cuteness.

38 weeks it is. So close to the finish line. I feel like I have been pregnant for years and years. And technically, having a miscarriage the first year, then waiting a long time to get pregnant again, and then going through this pregnancy, I suppose I should feel like I have been going through this for years. I can't believe I will meet my little boy soon. And when I do, let the squeezing and smooshing begin!! I can't wait to hold his little hands and wraps my hands around his chubby legs. And kiss his ankles and toes.

The nursery is looking pretty awesome, but I am hesitant to post pictures because it isn't finished. And it won't be for awhile until Caleb and I move out of it. Right now, we are living in the nursery with Griffin while Caleb spends the winter finishing up our bedroom edition over the garage (we initially bought a two-bedroom house with plans to make it three). So I am not hanging art on the wall or painting the murals that I plan to until the furniture goes where it belongs permanently.

Dad, mom, and puppies are doing well and eagerly awaiting Griffin's arrival!

Any Day Now...

Oh my gosh, little Griffin. It's you and me, kid, any day now. 37 weeks pregnant and counting :)

35 Weeks and Waiting...

I haven't posted for awhile. Life has been crazy. I took a promotion at work a few weeks ago and it's been great but...a lot. It was taking so much time I didn't know if I would be able to get things done at home in time for Griffin's arrival. There was so much to do.

But Caleb got the floors done in the baby's room, I put together the crib and the furniture, and then the laundry began. So many tiny little outfits. It kind of freaked me out to be honest. I didn't know this person yet but I was doing his laundry. And I knew he was going to mean more than anything to me, but I hadn't met him face to face yet and here I was, washing his darks, whites, and reds. Doing Griffin's laundry was like a strange, out-of-body experience while I contemplated all of this. You just never know when these weird realizations will hit you...or what will trigger them.

Now that all of that is done, and Griffin's nursery is ready, and I have just a few more things to do before he comes to be completely ready...I feel like I am on the precipice of something huge. Obviously a major life transition is about to hit, but I feel it, as if I am standing atop a cliff and the wind is whipping in my face and I can hear the waves below. I can feel my life shifting. And I can't describe it. I can just feel....change. I'm not nervous, I'm not anxious, I'm not going crazy waiting for this to happen, I'm just ready. Ready for this next stage of my life and fine with whenever it wants to take me.

I want to say how thankful I am for Caleb. Just how excited I am for him to be a dad, and how lucky I feel that he is going to be my kid's dad. I love him, love him, love him. And I am grateful beyond words that Griffin is part Caleb. I can't wait to see what that means.

5 weeks to go. We are patiently waiting for you and dreaming about you always, Griffin. :)

What a Big Boy

Well this certainly has been an interesting week for Griffin's development! Allow me to share the ups and downs....

He is now so big that I feel him move constantly, even the slow movements of him sleeping. And especially the raucous movements of him turning over, doing somersaults, and practicing his ninja-like moves.

He is now so big that my organs are smooshed into the upper half of my body, apparently into a very tiny place where my intestines, stomach, and esophagus co-mingle for awhile. Well don't get so cozy, guys, you are moving back to your original places once Griffin stops taking up so much room.

He is now so big I can feel his adorable little hiccups. They feel like those first "gentle taps" I talked about, but they are rhythmic!

He is now so big that sleeping is an obstacle. I can't seem to stay off my back, but that is exactly what I naturally do once I fall asleep (you are not supposed to sleep on your back in late pregnancy). Not to mention that it was an epic failure moving our pups off the bed, or even to the end of it. I have never in my life not looked forward to sleeping; this last month has changed my entire "sleep perspective". I hate it.

And we are now 11 weeks (give or take) from meeting our beloved Griffin! Not far at all!

The Third Trimester Has Now Begun

What a beautiful morning. I woke up to thunder and lightning, and the sound of rain beating hard on the roof. I LOVE this. Curling up under covers during a morning storm is a great treat.

But I couldn't curl up for too long so I cuddled my little boys for a little bit longer, then got up to get ready for my last ultrasound.

So many thoughts....is everything going to be okay, maybe they will find a problem, maybe Griffin is actually a girl (!), oh my GOD, what if that happened! I drove over, got called in, and the ultrasound began.....

And there was my little boy.

PERFECTION is the only word to describe him.

Round head, long legs, bony knees, little toe bones, even a butt. Griffin has some seriously LOOOOONG legs, looks like he is taking after the men in this family. It was amazing how much more detail there was to see at this point in the pregnancy. After measuring a bunch of boring things like kidneys and the stomach (c'mon, I mean, I want to know he is healthy of course, but I really don't care tooooo much about his kidneys!), she finally got around to his face. At this point in the pregnancy, Griffin looks like what Griffin will look like, just smaller. And from what I could tell, he is very cute. She shifted the ultrasound-wand-thing, and goes, "Oh look! See his chubby cheeks?!" Sure enough, there were his chubby cheeks. Cheeks that will be kissed over and over again. But safe from prying hands and lips for now (and Auntie Steffie, who will be such an Elmyra).

Then the most amazing thing happened. He leaned his head back, opened his mouth wide, and yawned! Griffin was sitting there, hanging out, doing normal things inside me like yawning! I couldn't believe it, so sweet. There is a picture of it on the left there, but it actually looks creepy because you can see all of his teeth. The live moment was lovely, though. Just lovely.

So Griffin and I are in good shape for the third trimester with no concerns at this point. Now, they have made me a little bit crazier.......BECAUSE I CAN'T WAIT TO SQUEEZE MY LITTLE CHUBSTER!!

Farewell Second Trimester, It's Been Nice Knowing Ya

Well, we are officially at the end of our second trimester. I have had a wonderful experience with this trimester and am not necessarily interested in moving forward into the third :). I was active, not nauseous, felt great, not tired. Now those things are slowly creeping back into my life along with that final, impending, third trimester.

Griffin and I had our 27 week check-up today, and we are both doing great! Griffin had a bpm of 145, my blood pressure is perfect, and my weight gain is very good. We have an ultrasound on Monday to make sure that everything is looking right for delivery down the line. Oh my goodness, part of me is so nervous that they will do the ultrasound and say, "Errr...Griffin actually is not a...boy." Most likely won't happen, but it still freaks me out a little!

My most recent development has been sausage hands and toes. If someone came over to my house in the evenings, they would probably catch me watching Law and Order SVU with my swollen feet in a bowl of ice water. :)

"I Want You To Hit Me As Hard As You Can."

Alright Griffin, I know you have probably heard Tyler Durden say this one or two times while you have been hanging out inside my tummy, but you didn't need to take him literally. Starting a fight club in the womb is not okay with Mommy. Yet here we are, me with a sore rib cage and you with fists of steel and the beginnings of Project Mayhem on your mind.

All kidding aside, this boy is getting big. I feel like I say that all the time, but I marvel at how even a few days can change how you feel this baby. All of a sudden, you can tell things you couldn't tell before. You feel him when you wouldn't before. And now I am getting punched and kicked at the same time on different sides of my belly.

Griffin, your Auntie Steffie is moving out this weekend and making space for your new nursery! Just wait, this room is going to be so cool you won't know what to do with yourself. I'll post pictures as we go. All I can say is that the next month is going to be VERY FUN for me. Our nursery theme is "World Adventures". Not just Safari....ADVENTURES OF THE WORLD. GET EXCITED.

Just over three months to go. I can't even believe it. And that time is going to go by so fast. I can't wait to meet this little monster; I want to hold him and squeeze him so badly. And so many people are eager to meet him. He is going to be one popular family member for awhile. For those of you that don't know, this is the first grandchild on both sides of the family, also making it the first great-grandchild. First niece/nephew. Which is very exciting for everyone involved.

Enjoy the new playlist. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robot is one of my favorites :). Stef hates it.

24 Weeks Along

Well it turns out that I do not regret announcing the name early. This week has been so wonderful with people sharing their love for the name or asking how Griffin is doing. Hearing people refer to him by his name makes me smile so much. I really appreciate all of the love and support I have felt this whole time.

24 weeks was another milestone for me...if anything were to happen and Griffin needed to be born early, he could still survive with intensive care. I have no reason to believe such a thing would happen, but it's one of those things you think about and are grateful to keep in mind.

Griffin and Indy have started interacting with each other, strangely enough. When Indy is not crazy, I'll lay him on my tummy and rub his ears. Indy's heartbeat is so strong through his chest that when he lays on my tummy, Griffin can totally hear/feel it. He'll start kicking and squirming in response. Indy doesn't notice yet, but I think he'll probably hate it when Griffin finally lands a kick square in Indy's tummy :).

113 days to go!

Let the trumpets sound, he has a name!!

This name couldn't be any better.

Wanna know our reasons for loving this name? I feel the need to tell you because when I pick a name, I have to research it like a crazy person. I can't just pick one because it sounds good. And this name is FULL of meaning.

Reason #1) Because it is utterly cool. And adorable. We just love the way it sounds. Possible nicknames: Griff, Finn, or as Stef is already calling him, Griffle Monster and Griffle Bottoms.

The following reasons have to do with Griffins as a symbol in history, not in the origin of the name:

Reason #2) Griffins have so much history in mythology and medieval legend (this may sound weird, but just wait, I think it's so adventurous). They are a fierce creature with the foreparts of an eagle and the hindquarters of a lion. It is a legendary creature that was once thought to be the king of all creatures. It was thought to be especially powerful and a majestic creature. (I really liked having a strong name because it was such a struggle to get this little boy here)

Reason #3) When people thought Griffins really existed, the lore was that Griffins mated for life. If their mate died,then the other would continue throughout the rest of its life alone, never to search for a new mate. (I love this)

Reason #4) They are the historical protectors of treasure!! Many museums around the world have griffins carved on top of the building because of this very reason. (ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! could this be any COOLER!!??)

Reason #5) In antiquity they were considered a guardian of the divine and the protector of life.

Reason #6) In heraldry, the griffin's amalgamation of lion and eagle gains in courage and boldness, and it is always drawn to powerful fierce monsters (cool!). It is used to denote strength and military courage and leadership. Griffins are portrayed with a lion's body, an eagle's head, long ears, and an eagle's claws, to indicate that one must combine intelligence and strength. Also a virtuous creature.

So there you go....a great name for our special little boy. We'll wait to announce the full name when he is born (for those who need us to preserve some sort of surprise :). )

Little Baby J, this one's just for you....

We named you tonight. And it's so perfectly you. After choosing it, you kicked and moved more than Caleb and I have ever felt, so I am going to assume you like it as much as we do.

Love you.

23 Weeks

Doctor appointment today....my blood pressure is very good, weight is still good, and most importantly, my little boy's heartbeat was very strong. The nurse was looking for it for a little bit because our heartbeat's were overlapping, and then she got his and it came through the speaker so loud she jumped a little. THA-THUMP, THA-THUMP, THA-THUMP!! Baby, you are one loud boy already. So this checkup went well, Mom and Baby given a clean bill of health, hurray!

Also a recent development, I have become a Craigslist maniac. Scouring any new posting for the cutest items at the lowest prices, I have acquired some very adorable baby gear. Caleb is getting a little tired of my texts..."Hey, can you stop in Waunakee on the way home for a mobile? And then maybe on the west side of Madison for a high chair?" He has been very good about it, though. Now that I have everything I was planning on getting used, I have to turn off this craziness. For those of you Craigslisters out there, you know how hard this can be....."Can't I just check....maybe there's an even BETTER deal than the one I already found! Just let me see!!". But I quit cold turkey two days ago and am doing much better now. :)

We are getting closer and closer to deciding on a name and will probably be announcing it before the little guy is here. We desperately want this little one to have a name because he means so much to us. It's amazing how many people have strong opinions on this...I just want to name my little boy and share that personal joy with everyone!! This has nothing to do with impatience, and everything to do with developing our relationship with this little boy, and also with the community around him that already loves him so much.

And as for this little boy, he is kicking my insides. I love it. I've been feeling it for over a month now, and this last week, Caleb finally felt his first kicks. We just sat there and Caleb would go "Was that it?" and I'd smile and nod, and then we'd just laugh and laugh as this little one kept karate chopping Caleb's hand.

Gosh this kid is going to make a great Treasure Hunter. :)

Baby Name.....

Caleb and I are now deadlocked at two names. One is his idea, one is mine. So hard when you want to be giving, but this decision is sooooo important!

So....I created a new poll. I don't want to mention our baby names because that would be ridiculous and not nice, but you can choose who you trust to pick the name the most: me or Caleb. Bahhahaahahaha

It's a Boy!!

What a DAY.

When I woke up, the sun was shining, the grass was glistening, and the air smelled like spring. I went into work and the students at Aveda wore pink or blue today based on what they thought the gender of the baby was going to be, which was so fun. Totally meant to take a picture to document it, sorry Little Baby. You and I got a lot of love today, though, trust me.

For those of you who don't know, despite my normally calm exterior, my nerves and anxiety can hit all time highs on days such as these. I become CRAZY. And that is exactly what happened. My mind was racing...boy....girl....make sure you drink enough water....boy.....girl....am I drinking too much water.....boy...girl.....which one is it?! I suck at focusing on work or other people and become completely self-involved (my apologies everyone). Minutes tick by. Life slows. And for these brief times when I devolve into madness, I need to be checked into a mental hospital.

Finally around noon, Caleb picked me up for the appointment. I was a chatterbox and was annoying even myself. Five minutes into the car ride, Caleb goes, "Turn this way so I can slap you." To which I responded with an obnoxious laugh and more inane babble.

And finally.......The Ultrasound. Seeing Little Baby J in perfectly cute baby form for the first time was fantastic. Anxiety went out the window in a flash. This baby is just perfect. As the ultrasound tech took snapshots and documented various body parts on the screen, I would comment, "Oh! Two legs! That's a good thing!" and she would laugh and say "Yes, that is a very good thing.". "Oh! Such a nicely shaped head! Good job, Baby J!" She made measurements for a good 20 minutes before asking if we wanted to know the gender. When she said it was a boy, Caleb VERY AUDIBLY said, "YESSSSSSS!!!". We truly were happy either way, but we are thrilled to have a little boy.

Telling everyone has been a great joy, and I sooooo appreciate all of the love and support. I am so thankful for this beautiful pregnancy; my hopes had been hurt so badly by the previous pregnancy that my joy is so incredibly strong for this healthy, perfect little one.

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." ~Plato

I can hardly wait :).

Patience is a Virtue

Holy crap, I can't stand waiting for Friday!!! This week is taking foooorever. And you know what is really obnoxious? Every time I use the word Friday, I think of Rebecca Black. So every time I am impatient and think about the ultrasound, "Friday" plays like a faint theme song in the background of my mind. NOT the song you want stuck in your head when you are already annoyed.

I need to calm down and appreciate every moment of this wonderful thing that is happening. Of this "calm before the storm". I need to remember that when I am finally holding the baby in my arms, part of me is going to miss the time when I carried the baby everywhere I went and could feel it's every movement. I need to live in THIS moment.

I feel calmer already. This blog thing is such a good idea.

"Knowing trees, I understand the meaning of patience. Knowing grass, I can appreciate persistence." ~Hal Borland

19 Weeks - Happy Heartbeat

We had our 19 week appointment today. I LOVE these appointments, because they are the greatest reassurance that everything is going well. When the nurse listened to the heartbeat, it was steady and fast, at 161bpm. She had no trouble finding it, it just started the second she put the heartbeat-measuring-thing on my tummy. It is a very cool sound.

The doctor checked me and said everything was perfect and if I didn't have any issues, then I was free to go. Having gone through last year and the miscarriage, it continues to astonish me that you can have these great doctor's appointments where everything goes perfectly. At this point in the pregnancy, I am very reassured that everything is fine and I rarely stress anymore. Even though I am not worried anymore, I still end up flying high as a kite after every perfect appointment.

Caleb and I spent the weekend at his sister and brother-in-law's house down in Gilman, IL. It was a great weekend of fun and relaxation. Baby and I went to our first drive-in movie, which was a highlight of my life. I took the best bubble bath in the world (bubbles everywhere!) and had a great grill-out with Alissa and Dave's family. Little Baby J continued to make it's presence known more and more...kicking, squirming, moving, etc. Caleb still can't feel it yet, but this baby is getting stronger and stronger, he should be able to feel it soon.

One and half more weeks until "The Ultrasound". According to the poll, there are a lot of you thinking Little Baby J is a little baby boy. A few proudly think it's a little baby girl. I can tell you that at this point, I am so excited for either one that I might be a little disappointed either way!! :) We found some great girl names this weekend, so we finally have some good names lined up for however this ultrasound turns out.

This is sooooooooooooooooo much fun now!! I am so glad this pregnancy became fun!!!

18 Weeks- Feeling Great!

I am finally at the point in this pregnancy where I am not crazy impatient or ridiculously worried. I feel very healthy, have fairly insignificant symptoms, and am finally showing. From here on out, I think I will be able to enjoy this pregnancy without too much fear.

While showing has been exciting and fun for me, the best moment came while Caleb and I were watching an old 90's TV mini-series called The Stand. Halfway through watching this ridiculous excuse of a show, Little Baby J tapped me four times to let me know "I'm here! Pay attention to me!". Since then, I have been patiently but fervently waiting for each and every little tap. Every day, they seem to get a little bit stronger. It is so amazing to me that even days can add so much strength to this baby. Now I can tell a little better when Little Baby J is moving, and I felt my first kick yesterday. Still gentle, nothing startling, but a little kick nonetheless.

I was telling a friend that I have always thought that pregnancy seemed kind of magical but really creepy. A person growing inside a person. So I always expected that feeling the baby moving would be awesome but would also freak me out. For all of you out there creeped out by the idea, I am here to say that it has been anything but creepy. It is a wonderfully gentle little reminder that your baby is safe and happy. I just adore it.

Two weeks until we can find out what gender the baby is! I can't wait!!! If you haven't voted in my poll, please do! I really really want to know what everyone is thinking :).